Hold on my heavy heart, hold on…..through the days of darkness that never seem to change, a groundhog month of endless bleak rain and a sombre mood. I alternate between excitedly planning my vegetable garden, and staring pointlessly at the sodden garden through the rain streaked window. As i thumb through seed catalogues dreaming of my burgeoning greenhouse, by the fire, with tea and biscuits i tell myself to heed, as always the message of the season.

February, traditionally the month of Imbolc. As always there are many scattered beliefs and theories as to when this actually falls and what it meant to our ancestors. Im learning each month to let this go in my search for solid facts and instead understanding that i need to listen from within and from nature if i’m to find my connection..

From reading my go to books, I’m beginning to understand the circular aspect of our lives, not only our whole lives but our years, months and days…our seasons. Again Philip Carr-Gomm describes this beautifully in his book Druid mysteries, explaining how the cycles of our life and the cycles of the earth are entwined.(i quote) he describes Spring as the ‘childhood of life’ , a lightbulb moment for me. Where, he says Winter is like the dead of night, when all is still, Spring is the the dawn of a new day. That, in February puts us at twilight just before the dawn. Does this explain the childish excitement to get on with things? that bubbling up urge to want to be sowing seeds, to be planting, to bring on the Summer, barefoot wanderings in the garden at first light. But, the wise part within me, parents this to say ‘no, not just yet’ enjoy this time of peace and stillness now, that time will come, as it does with adulthood and intensity and the wish to be back as a child again. I think what i’m trying to say is, now is not the time to rush headlong into the garden to begin work and busyness, now is the time to relish the last few days of late winter and what this season really means, enjoy the calm before the heat and madness of Summer. To hold back just a little longer.

A wander around the garden tells us that we are just around the corner. When i decided to observe nature instead of google i found hope in the signs around me, right under my nose. The weather may be bleak but it lifts the soul to see that no matter what is happening in the world, the cycle is still turning and Spring is truly coming.

February fair maids 

‘One month is past, another is begun, 

Since merry bells rang out the dying year,

And buds of rareest green begin to peer,

And though distant hills are bleak and dun,

The virgin snowdrop like lambent fire,

Pierces the cold earth with its green streaked spire

And in dark woods, the wandering little one, 

May find a primrose.

Feb 1st 1842 Hartley Coleridge

Now over the halfway point between the Midwinter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, growth is quickening, spurred on not by the warming earth but by the lengthening days, the light whether it be bright or subdued, it is there. The Solstice’s and Equinoxes are fire festivals marking important points of the Suns position, vital for growth and all life. This the reason why they were celebrated so strongly by our ancestors they revered the Sun as a God the centre of our universe. The smaller festivals in between were marked points usually noted on agriculture, primarily cattle. Often also centred around the Moon and her cycles. Imbolc is still celebrated by many actually on the New moon in February rather than on the 1st. Where the Sun is fiery masculine energy, the Moon is gentle feminine energy. With Imbolc being felt as a time of birthing, with lambs and ourselves, i feel this energy.

A time to celebrate getting through the long Winter, food stores getting low, now milk made into cheese and butter gave reason to celebrate life. Something we have lost touch with. The luxury we have of a constant food supply from anywhere around the world, makes us oblivious to the necessity of having to rely on the land and the turning of the seasons. How lucky we are? I still long for a greater connection….

Whatever, my heart is lifted to see so many February flowers. From the expected Snowdrop to candy coloured Hellebores, Cyclamen carpets and the most delicate Crocus and Iris reticulata. The misery of endless grey days tempered by the knowledge that at least these brief visitors will stay longer in the wintery weather.

Hold on my friends, hold on…….