Still on a high from the season of feasting and present giving, January did not disappoint. Morning sunrises casting long streams of magic through the trees. Bright and hopeful.

Just a week later and we have snow, even though its just a dusting, that lifts and flies away from the shed roof with the lightest of breeze, im calling it snowfall. It lifts the spirits because the month is doing as it should. Vivid pink and lilac skies greet the morning and say goodnight by 4pm. The landscape and gardens are crisp and sparkling, the ground solid like rock beneath our feet. Life feels good and full of intention for the year ahead.

With the ground frozen like rock, there is little to do outside, so i read my stash of new Christmas books. An eclectic mix as am I, I read “The Way Home” by Mark Boyle, I love it and it speaks to me but i feel overwhelmed by how i can make such a difference or give up on my luxuries in life. I read “The Druid Mysteries” by Philip Carr-Gomm and long for that connection which i seem to either have lost or am ignoring in my need to be ‘normal’. I find solace in ‘The Ochard Book’ by Wade Muggleton and feel the urge to start planning my own garden, the perfect job for deep winter days.

In the moments when i scroll, something i really must try and withdraw from if i’m to find a connection to nature, i find @wildmarymary a former Chelsea award winning garden designer reforming herself and our view of gardening. I feel uplifted to create an arc (check her out if by that you think i’m taking up boatbuilding.) If i give up technology and social media where will i find inspiring like minded beings like Mary ? maybe i’ll just limit my screen time and spend the rest outside. Im rambling on , confused as to what and where i want to be connected to.

The weather changes and we descend into heavy grey dampness. Nature reminds us that we are still only just over the threashold of midwinter and harsh days still lie ahead. Im struck by the mulling over of how like life the weather is. Bright cheerful days full of hope and happiness followed by miserable, murky dark days..but vice versa, you cant have one without the other.

I still feel i should be doing more, but tell myself its not time yet. I feel i’m running out of winter with one hand and i’ve got so much more reading to do yet, and am frustrated that we’ve hardly had one decent day to do anything in the garden yet on the other. But things are stirring, i now hear the birds singing as i step out of the door into darkness to go to work. The air is beginning to feel charged with energy on the odd days its not raining. The back field is now flooded.

There isn’t a Celtic festival to celebrate in January, maybe because we are recovering from Yule still. Reading the Druid mysteries has been an eye opener for me as i’ve always said i have Pagan interests. Turns out i was just a tad ignorant about it all and Paganism, Celtic history and Druidry are all different, if also a little connected. Its no wonder i got confused over seasons starting and finishing ! Anyhow, in short i now understand the festivals better as half of them revolve around the sun and half (the ones between the Solstice’s and equinoxes) were more about farming and our connection to the land and nature. I promise myself i will find my own path to connection but still find it hard to stop and listen, perhaps once the weather improves i will..hopefully.

I woke up at 4am this morning in a buzz of ideas, and was sure i would start another blog just about gardening! i may but i struggle with the idea that im not sticking with things (a lifelong habit of ADHD) ahh who cares no-one is reading this anyway lol.. why not keep trying different things until i find my feet? see you next month x